Back in the saddle (hospital bed) again

Well I’ve had my share of recovery and rest.  If the first round of the chemo was hard on my heart then this rounds chemo was hard on my blood.  Fortunately the blood is much more amenable to taking a beating than the heart.  My haemoglobin counts were left low, and white blood cells at almost nothing.  I was feeling pretty low, and have had a fever off and on throughout the week. 

Fortunately I’ve been spending the last 6 days recovering from this situation through a combination of drugs, blood transfusion, and time.  Every day that goes by is a little less chemo in my body,  i’m starting to find that I’ve put quite a number of hours in here at the hospital. The minutes crawl by but the days race by.  I’m not the one to ask what today’s date is.  I’m looking forward to getting out into the sunshine and it mattering what day of the week it is.  As well as I’ve missed time spent with family, especially with the girls having the sniffles this week has kept them from coming to visit like they normally could.  My apologies to those of you who haven’t seen much of me during all this.  Hopefully my upcoming time before chemo and a kindly round of chemo will allow me to catch up with you. 

However this has left me in a difficult situation.  This has shown that irinotecan is not an ideal chemo for me to be taking.  However as I mentioned earlier in my post there are only so many lines of treatment available and by ditching this treatment I would be quickly running out of options.  So do I stay with Irinotecan or move on to the third tier treatment?  It should be worth noting that the reaction to Irinotecan has been hard compared to what most people experience.   Well both my oncology doc and I have both decided to continue with Irinotecan.  The next course of chemotherapy will consist of just irinotecan at a lower dose and because I’ve already been exposed to it I will hopefully have a smoother session.  (fingers crossed)

So my hope is given the way that chemo works, is that it proceeds through the body like a bunch of angry New York City Cops.  These enforcers are intent on getting the cancer but causing a lot of harm to my healthy cells along the way.  My hope is given that this stuff seems to have such a dislike for my tissues (and the cancer is my tissue) is that it will have an even greater dislike for the cancer. 

So a little note about donating blood.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that donated blood has saved my life.  So if you were on the fence about donating, let me be the person to give you the nudge.  

The Continuing Chemo Journey....

Well aren’t I the big boy, this one is going to be easy, started counting those chickens I did.  Any ways first things first, this round of therapy irinotecan is the active component and one bag of this provides the whole 3 week dose in one go.  This means two weeks of medicating and one week of rest.  Side effects started out nice and mild and things were progressing just fine.  However some problems began to creep in around the edges.  There are two major side effects with Irinotecan – one is stomach cramps, those are not a lot of fun. The other being diarrhoea – also not fun. 

The cramps mostly passed after 4-5 days and became part of the background discomfort.  It took some time for the diarrhea to show up but some other issues showed up first.  Similar to many of my previous issues I’ve had before, this next phase began with extreme fatigue and gut pain.  I was getting ready to go to an appointment when it became apparent that things were WAY too hard to do.  I was out of breath, out of energy, and just wanted to lie down.

 Tara called the oncology nurse to see if we should be concerned given these were uncomfortably similar symptoms to the heart attack.  She felt that since I didn’t have a fever that this was normal chemo reaction and that I should rest, and anyway my homecare nurse Jennifer was on her way for physical tests.  There is one little thing that continuously surprises me through this whole thing.  It’s the little synchronicities of timing – the heart attack only after we were already in the hospital.  And the presentation of my fever only when the home care nurse was here taking my vitals which got me to the hospital.

 If it had waited another half hour I probably would have been left at home thinking all I needed was rest.   It evolved into a trip to the hospital in an ambulance and here I sit.  It turns out that Chemo can be really hard on the immune system and at the moment I don’t have one (immune system that is).  My white blood cell count is very low.  This means that fighting off any bugs is very difficult.  So I have checked into ward 47 and the next few days will be antibiotics, monitoring my blood for signs of a return of my bug fighting abilities, and rest.  

Back to the Chemo

So I've had my bumpy start with the Chemo but having had some recovery time I'm back on the wagon. Given my reaction to the previous drugs I'm going to be trying an alternative, nothing highly unconventional but unfortunately not the usual first pick. Seems like each drug has it's own grab bag of side effects, well any ways it's good to be back on some regularly scheduled medication.

A typical Chemo day (two really) starts me off on Monday with a blood test and evaluation, and a meeting with my Oncologist. Tuesday then consists of spending between 3-5 hours of getting a series of pharmaceuticals delivered via I.V. Today's round has not been too difficult, better not count chickens yet though.

Bit of a brief check in today, but we'll see how things are doing this week.

Recovery time

Well now it's time to chill in the cardiac ward. Good thing is that with the unusual nature of my heart attack is that my heart health such as cholesterol is all quite good, permanent damage is minimal. I'm monitored closely for a few days, eat some of the terrible food.

(For the record the hospital food in the main building is awful, Swanson Salsbury steak awful, and in the cardiac ward it's extra no salt/sugar/fat/anything)

In a few days I'm sent home, in about six hours I'm back.

You know I never did address that whole not eating, gut pain thing. I was so happy to have recovered from the heart attack that I took home some pretty significant issues.

So after a long wait for a bed I find myself in the Cancer center. To make a long story short, after about five days of numerous drugs, painkillers, and erratic scheduled bowel movements I am ready to go home again. Definitely glossing over how long five days in the hospital can be.

So now I have a list of meds and  pills that I take every day, plus painkillers for when I need them (which I take subcutaneously thank goodness, so if I'm not digesting I still can get some relief). Should I mention the flatulence, probably not.

Anyways, things are working and here I am up to date. A new round of Chemo starts on Tuesday (different medications). Guardedly Optimistic.

I want to thank everybody who has supported me and sent their best wishes my way, my apologies if you have not heard from me as much as I should, things have been overwhelming at times. but every gesture is appreciated. I thank you all.

Lets see what the the future holds.

Heart attack

Complications

So a few days after my pill regimen I'm finding that issues with my appetite and ability to hold down food, in addition to keeping myself hydrated are becoming a problem. Things are not moving very well and there is quite a bit of discomfort, but more significantly I have very little energy, hard to get out of bed energy.

After a talk with the nurse on the phone it's time to go back to emergency. The wait is minimal.

(One thing I've found in the hospital system is the dramatic differences in the priority system, wait times can be very slow, and getting a bed seem to take forever when you are not in immediate danger, or your problem is a known quantity, but when things are more in doubt the hospital moves quickly indeed. And I fully agree with the way that is done.)

So I'm in the waiting room with a stomach that is not doing me any favours, and I get something new. Chest pressure, there is apparently a large invisible dog that has decided to sit on my chest. Not super painful but a lot of pressure.

Some minutes pass, we tell the nurse, wait a bit. I get hooked up to blood pressure and a pulse monitor. A EEG in a bit. things seem to pass, pressure fades. The discussion about what is going on continues, I'm going to be given some meds and sent home, just go for a little walk.

The pressure returns and I'm exhausted after walking 20ft, they spray a shot of nitro under my tongue.

WTF, I'm having a goddam heart attack.

Boom, into the cardiac area. hooked up to some equipment, and scheduled for an Angioplasty. Within the hour I've got a line running from my arm straight into my heart and they are working hard at clearing a blood clot from my heart. Oh and I get to watch. It doesn't hurt, really.

Trivia note, heart pain and possible complications including heart attack are very rare but known complications of my Chemo pills.

Chemotherapy

First question, the cliché, how long do I have to live.

The answer is that I don't know, still to this moment. I'm planning on making it a long time.

Any ways things move along quite quickly, within a week I'm going to be starting Chemotherapy. I have some time to reflect on my life, share some joy and tears with family. It looks like I need to pack up my work truck as I won't be putting in many hot water tanks while going through this. Things are a strange mix of mundane issues and introspection.

In a way maybe there is a bright side, many other peoples lives are taken suddenly without a chance to really talk to the people close to you about what they mean to you, or you can be left unable to communicate, those are certainly a fear of mine. My mind is clear and I've been given a chance to grow closer to my family, and for that I'm grateful. Mind you I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

Soon I find myself at the Tom Baker cancer center in Calgary and taking my first Chemo. First is an I.V. then a regimen of pills for two weeks. The initial shock is manageable, but there are some strange side effects, cold makes my hands tingle, just from say touching something in the fridge. I get a close intro to the bronchial spasms that I get if I drink something cool/cold. Meaning a cold drink leaves me struggling to breathe, with sucks it you're also throwing up. Have to watch for mouth sores, etc, etc.

The two weeks go well, my energy level seems okay, and apparently hair loss is not as prevalent as it used to be, not that that is a big concern.

A few days after finishing my pills things get a little more complicated.

First Hospital visit

Well now I find myself in the hospital, there is some waiting to get into Emergency but nothing that seems to be out of the ordinary, blood tests are ordered and I'm put in a bed. I discuss my symptoms with the nurses and Emergency doctor.

My blood comes in with a haemoglobin of 68, to put that in perspective when I had been at the hospital a couple years ago with a particularly debilitating migraine my level was about 170. So about 2/3 of my blood is doing me all the good of tap water. Now of course the question is, where did it go?

Well tests are to be ordered, it looks like I'm bleeding just a bit somewhere in my digestive system, just enough to drain the goodness from my blood. Looks like this might be an ulcer, maybe Colitis, something like that. Next thing you know about four days have passed and I am really starting to miss having solid food, nothing but fluids and I.V. First a Endoscopy and then a Colonoscopy are scheduled and run.

Very strange, had a bit of an existential crisis (just a little one). For the scope test you're kind of put under, apparently you respond to the doctors and are aware somewhat during the procedure but afterwards it's a blank, no memory of the events. It is hard to imagine experiencing something but having the memory of it disappear , I can't say I like the idea of that.

My results come in from the doctor who has come to talk to me, I have a restriction in my large intestine, and it's Cancer.

I have no words.

Off to the clinic

Well it's a Saturday and my options for care are a walk in clinic or a hospital. Now up until this point I really haven't worried to much about my health, thinking that this will be a take some vitamin C and get some exercise outcome. I have just made arrangements to see a new family doctor for early next week and really have had no consistent doctor to this point.

Well I'm poked, prodded and questioned at the clinic, and sent for a routine blood test and an abdominal ultrasound for later in the week. Waiting awaits, and a few days pass.

Blood-work comes back, my haemoglobin is very low, and the ultrasound points out a possible cyst on my liver. The blood is an issue but the liver seems to be no big deal.

Now at this point I'm up for my second visit with my new family doctor, so I attend my regularly scheduled appointment, looking at my tests she wants me to go the hospital.

Off I go.

Having issues with the yardwork.

The coming storm

Going into September things are not quite right, I'm getting, not tired, but out of breath. Still having broke my foot the previous year I never really got myself back into shape, or so I think. Days pass, and one day I notice that I'm walking up stairs, I usually run, and now I'm catching my breath at the top, this does not seem right. I'm having some indigestion but this comes and goes and is generally ignored.

The day of reckoning is an upcoming day of yardwork, we are having family over to put in a retaining wall and replace some fence. Having done some preliminary work I'm getting too tired too fast to get things done. It's not like sitting and watching everybody else work is going to be an option.

Time to go to the doctor.

begin at the beginning

Where to start...

Well the triggering event to all this is finding out on September 27th that I have stage 4 colon cancer, still today there are times that it is quite unreal despite the fact that my life has changed quite dramatically. Bear with me, I have some catching up to do.